Shared parenting means both parents raise their children with guidance and love after separation. Thus, a child spends an equal proportion of time with both. However, suppose the kid spends limited time with a non-resident parent, like fortnightly visits or holidays.
Both parents can make decisions child’s long term problems, such as:
- Child’s current or future education
- Child’s health and medical procedures
- Child’s religious or cultural upbringing
- Change in child’s name
- Child’s Travel document authorization
- Change in child’s living arrangements
Rules to Make Shared Parenting Work
Rule 1: Speak no Bad
Do not speak badly about the ex; otherwise, the child will be hurt because he/she is a part of both parents. Regardless of your ill-feeling about your ex, just keep it to yourself.
Rule 2: Shared Parenting is Not All About You
During the divorce process, parents make unrealistic demands due to insecurity. So, do not consider child parenting as a business. Instead, leaving emotions at the side, look at the critical facts.
Rule 3: Wrong Partner is Not Bad Parent
Your ex might have made you crazy, but he/she may be a good parent. So, it would be best for a child to have continuous interactions with each parent.
Rule 4: Find Agreeable Method to Interact
In shared parenting, communication is very important. So you have to look for a proper mode of contact for the sake of your child. Then only equal shared parenting will work.
Rule 5: Choose Your Battles
As you all know, parenting is a challenging task. However, equal shared parenting is more complex. So, do open communication with your ex to avoid the number of conflicts as much as possible.
But if there is any disagreement, think carefully that the conflict is worth fighting over. Try to be reasonable and save energy for taking care of a child.
Rule 6: Listen to your Child
After divorce, a child experiences various problems and changes. So, listen to your children and allow them to express confusion or feelings about the divorce or custody arrangement. It can make them feel safe and controlled.
Laws of Equal Parenting
Earlier, courts favored mothers in shared parenting and decisions related to it. Generally, courts give full custody to one parent and assign visiting time to another. However, fathers nowadays challenge this tradition, and old parenting stereotypes become obsolete.
Some states changed the standard parenting time procedure, and others made amendments in the assumed guardianship. However, some of the state-governments still have pending legislation on this matter.
The following are some current state legislative decisions related to shared parenting:
- Illinois
Laws related to assigning 50/50 parenting is still pending.
- Arizona
If domestic violence occurs, then state law can cancel the joint custody.
- Florida
Court begins presumption of shared parenting.
- Kentucky
Both parents can agree on temporary shared parenting during court proceedings. However, if they couldn’t agree on it during the entire process, then the child will spend equal time with both guardians.
- Missouri
The court assumes that equal parenting is best in a child’s interest and well-being. However, this law has yet to pass.
Benefits of Equal Shared Parenting
- A child’s mental health and physical growth will be good when both guardians are part of his/her life.
- Removes some gender blots of shared parenting.
- Allows the father authority and voices out opinions regarding the child.
- Children will perform better in academics and have high self-esteem.
- Both parents work equally as a team.
Seek Legal Advice
When the court approves equal shared parenting, always remember that your every action should be for the child’s best interest. It is not all about parents. If you have issues regarding parenting arrangements, you must seek legal advice from an experienced person.
Hire a divorce lawyer who will help you solve these issues and make the divorce process less painful.
Bonus Tips
Every family and its functioning is different. So plan a parenting process properly. Access all pros and cons before making any decision.