Divorce can be a trying and emotionally charged time for you and your child. No matter how much you try to shield your child from the fallout, they will still experience some hardship and grief.
What you can do now is to offer your child the resources or take action that can help them deal with this. Reassurance that they are important and valued by both parents will go a long way in helping them regain a sense of control in their life.
Here are some other things you can look into to help your child cope with the changing circumstances.
Having a routine will give your child stability, structure and a sense of normalcy. With some effort by both parties, you can help your child reclaim their sense of well being and even be given a chance to rebuild a stronger, individual bond with your child.
It bears repeating but does not fight in front of the kids. Don’t bad mouth your partner in front of the children. It will color their perception of the other parent. Even if you’re not actively fighting in front of the child, it is important to be polite to one another in front of the child. Here are some other don’ts of child custody to consider.
They can sense a hostile atmosphere and this will impact their sense of well being even if they don’t speak up about it. Keep things cordial, If possible, have some flexibility with respect to visitation and custody. Your child remains your highest priority.
The first year after divorce, your child will experience increased anxiety and depression, their self-esteem is lower. This does not even consider the lower standard of living and decreased quality of their parental relationship.
So it is important for the child to be able to speak to a professional third party. It can help alleviate some of their mental burden and make sense of their feelings. You can use the school counselors or look for a licensed therapist for your child.
In case of conflict with the other party, you can always experience the benefit of working with a parent coordinator in a divorce.. A third party can help you make parenting decisions and will always put the well being of your child above other considerations.
Open Lines of Communication
You might think it’s a given that your child can come to you with any problem. Sometimes children hold back to avoid stressing their parents or because they are processing their own emotions.
You can help by providing a safe space for your child to express their feelings and emotions without pushback. This gives them a sense of empowerment and well being that can go a long way. It’s important to not lash out or voice disappointment with what the child expresses. Even if they don’t share their feelings, it helps to know you made an effort to listen.
We’ve compiled a guide on all you need to know about equal shared parenting. To help you get started. In the meantime, it is important to involve your children in the decision making process. It’s up to you to strike a balance between involving them and putting the onus of the decision on them.
Take their input and make it clear their voice is heard. It is vital that you handle conversations during pick-ups or after visitation with a degree of cordiality. Otherwise your child may subconsciously feel they are betraying their parent by spending time with the other parent.